My Trip to the Alternate Universe of Gundam Wing
by Vampire Goddess Eve
Summary: Well...lets see what happens when I meet the guys! WARNING: MAJOR BASHING!!!


Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. But I would dearly love to! I don't own Elmer's Glue either (ahem you'll see the need for this disclaimer later). FYI: I changed my name in this. I'm not seriously named "Eve Vamp".  
  
My Trip to the Alternate Universe of Gundam Wing  
  
  
  
I found a little metal thing in my backyard and was looking at it. It was silver and had red and orange buttons, so I pushed a few, and, suddenly, I was not in my backyard any more, but standing in the middle of what looked like some type of small military base. Then, a giant mecha appeared on the horizon. Everyone began screaming and running for their lives, while I, in awe, just stood there and watched it get closer. Out of the blue, a person appeared, grabbed my arm, and started pulling me. I looked to see who it was.  
  
"Sally!" I said astonishedly. How in the heck did I get into Gundam Wing? Oh, well, now maybe I could meet Heero, yeah, baby!  
  
"What?" Sally called back.  
  
"Um. nothing."  
  
We continued running from the mecha, when a Gundam jumped out of the woods and shot down the mecha easily. When order resumed, Wufei was walking around, talking to himself about being a coward and something about injustice, so I figured it would be a good time to meet my 2nd favorite pilot. I went over to say hi & introduce myself.  
  
When I began though, Wufei started screaming, "Weaklings! Cowards! This is injustice!"  
  
I just stopped and stared at him, but, when he stopped, I stuck out my hand for him to shake, "Hi, Wufei. I'm Eve."  
  
He just glared at me, "Weakling. Coward. INJUSTICE!"  
  
I stepped back from him, thinking he was going to attack me or something, but he just walked away, muttering to himself some more about his three favorite topics: weaklings, cowards, and injustice.  
  
Maybe he was as crazy as all of my friends thought, but I was not going to give up that easily.  
  
Since I had nowhere to sleep, I slept in a tree that night, because I thought it would be the safest place. I do not highly recommend this. I woke up in the morning with pine needles stuck to me, in my hair, my clothes, and my shoes. So, I decided to look for a stream, where I could take a bath.  
  
I began walking in the forest, which I knew was not a smart thing to do, but I didn't want to be a scrub. After a while, I saw Wufei & his Gundam. I decided to go over and try talking to him again. I tapped him on the shoulder as he stood, just watching his Gundam.  
  
He jumped and turned around, "Weakling! You are weak! You had to sneak up on me!"  
  
"Um. no. You could have heard me a mile away, trying to get through the forest, before I even got here. Plus, I wasn't even looking for you."  
  
"Oh, so you are a weakling who is running away from the resistance."  
  
"No."  
  
"Then what are you doing out here, woman, if you aren't looking for me and aren't running away?"  
  
"If you must know, I was looking for a place where I could get a bath!"  
  
"Oh."  
  
With that, I walked away from him. He was crazy, dude!  
  
I began walking back to the base. Maybe they had showers there.  
  
They did! I got nice and clean, took out the little metal thing & pushed another button.  
  
I was now at the circus. I watched as Trowa got knives thrown at him and many other acts. After it was over, I went back stage to meet my least favorite pilot. When I heard Catherine arguing with him.  
  
"Come on Trowa! It looks like a backwards mullet!"  
  
Trowa said, "So?"  
  
"It looks stupid!"  
  
"So?"  
  
"Do you even know how much glue it takes to hold it up?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"How much?"  
  
"10 bottles of Elmer's No Run School Gel."  
  
"Oh, good grief!"  
  
"So, you won't cut it?"  
  
"Yes, I will, because I am a member of the Save the Glue Foundation."  
  
I walked in at this time, "Hello. Trowa you really should let Catherine cut your hair. It looks like crap."  
  
"See!" Catherine said, "Even you're fans think it looks stupid!"  
  
"Fine! But you're not cutting it! She is!" He pointed to me.  
  
"Oh, yeah!" I thought, "Bring it on!"  
  
"Fine, but cut it so it looks semi- sort of- normal." Catherine left & Trowa handed me a bag with hair cutting crap in it, including a razor, & sat down.  
  
I had fun. When I had finished, Trowa was bald. I let him look in the mirror.  
  
"Ahhh! What did you do?!"  
  
"I cut your hair."  
  
"Ahhh!"  
  
"Hey, Catherine could have done it, but you were the one who asked me to!"  
  
Trowa started towards me, like he was going to hurt me, so I pushed another button and "poof!"  
  
I was somewhere. Don't ask me where, because I don't know. But, Heero and Duo were there. Heero! Yeah! I found Heero! I found Heero!  
  
I listened in on their conversation.  
  
"Hello, Heero. I brought some wine. Don't you want to come share it with me?" I heard Duo say.  
  
"No! I am not gay!"  
  
"Please?" Duo was begging him.  
  
"No." Heero went back to typing on his laptop.  
  
"Fine, then we will skip the wine." Duo started pulling Heero away from his laptop and trying to french him.  
  
I had to save Heero! I began to go across the floor. I picked up Heero's gun, from where it had fallen, by his laptop.  
  
"Duo! Stop trying to molest me!" I heard Heero, my hero, scream.  
  
I stepped over and put the gun to Duo's head.  
  
"Let him go." I said, my voice like ice, no one was molesting Heero, if he didn't want to be!  
  
Duo let him go and Heero hurriedly pulled his Spandex shorts back up.  
  
"Thank you!" Heero said.  
  
"Welcome." I went to give Heero back his gun.  
  
"Keep it, I've got lots."  
  
"O.K.!" I got something of Heero's!  
  
"So, how are you any way?"  
  
"Eve. Eve Vamp."  
  
"I'm Heero, Heero Yuy." He said, informing me of something I already knew. "And this crazy rapist is Duo Maxwell." I went over and shot off his braid, something I had been meaning to do.  
  
Duo just stood there and whimpered, now he had two people that wanted to kill him and they were both in the same room and about three feet away from him!  
  
"What can I do to repay you?" Heero asked.  
  
"Could you show me how to pilot a Gundam?"  
  
"Um. do you work for OZ?"  
  
"No."  
  
"O.K. I'll show you how to pilot the Wing Zero."  
  
"Yes!" I thought.  
  
So, I stayed with them for a while and learned how to use a Gundam. But, one night while I was asleep, Duo came over and pointed a gun at me.  
  
"I'm going to kill you. You shot off my braid!"  
  
I whipped out my metal thing, pressed a button and disappeared, only to reappear in the home of the only pilot I had not yet met, Quatre. I walked through the mansion looking for my, now second favorite, pilot.  
  
I knocked on doors and finally found someone I could ask.  
  
"Where's Quatre?" I asked the lady dusting a table in the hall.  
  
"Oh, you must be his new girl! He's been expecting you! I'll take you right to him!"  
  
I followed the lady up the magnificent front staircase and into a bedroom, where Quatre sat, on the bed, lower half under the blankets, and without a shirt.  
  
The maid left then, as Quarter said, "Come here."  
  
"This is what you wear to work in?!" He asked when he saw my orange pants and red flame hoodie.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Did you bring something else?"  
  
"No." I said, very confused.  
  
"Fine, open the closet and pick something."  
  
Still confused, I went over to the closet to find lots of skanky, hoochy, hooker dresses.  
  
"What the #@%$?!"  
  
"Don't you like them?"  
  
"You think I'm a hooker?!" "You're not?" Quatre asked, now confused.  
  
"No, you gay male pimp!"  
  
I pulled out the metal thing again and went home. I landed in my room. I decided that, tomorrow, I would go visit Heero, and I did.  
  
Unfortunately, all of the pilots were there as well as Relena. I let only Heero know that I was there and that night, I climbed into the Wing Zero and stomped on Relena.  
  
Everyone cheered. Then, I stepped on Wufei. Everyone cheered. Next, I stepped on Trowa, who had been wearing a wig. Everyone cheered, except for Quatre.  
  
"Why Trowa? He was my lover!"  
  
So, I stepped on Quatre, Duo and Heero cheered. Next, I stepped on Duo. Heero cheered.  
  
"Yeah! The rapist is gone and we get all of the Gundams!"  
  
That night, Heero & I hopped on the good foot & did the bad thing! ;)  
  
The End  
  
List of favorite pilots before: Heero Wufei Duo Quatre Trowa  
  
List of favorite pilots after: Heero 5) Wufei, Duo, Quatre, & Trowa 


End file.
